Don't Flash the Taxi Driver: A Lesson in Group Think

I recently went to Myrtle Beach  for a week-long study on group think. Ok, it was actually an all-girls trip, also known as "Meghan's Last Hurrah." The concept of the trip was that Meghan's husband wants to start having kids and may have at one point told her that "he no longer cares if it's consensual," and while he was kidding...he was serious about wanting to start a family. So, as a good college roommate, I felt it my duty to attend her last hurrah. There was a very nice condo...there were Doritos...there were t-shirts.

As the week progressed, I suddenly had an understanding of how "Girls Gone Wild" can actually happen. Group think is dangerous...especially for women. Now, I want to share my knowledge with you.

When men gather, there is often beer, sports talk, a possible strip club trip for a bachelor party.

When women gather, there is no telling what will happen.

Here is what I learned:

1. In the age of post-feminism, five women in their late twenties and early thirties will turn into men when vacationing together, and not just regular men, but extremely crass convict-types. As the week progressed, the belching and bathroom talk got progressively worse. The mild insults suddenly morphed into uncomfortable knock-offs of what you might hear in a federal penitentiary. It has been weeks and still can't stop swearing.

2. Dawson's Creek is still relevant...for Meghan and I anyway. We went to North Carolina on a pilgrimage to see where the show was filmed. No one knew much. But we did find magnets (which are now on my fridge):



See the dock? We were totally there! Stop judging me.



3. Group think will make it seem like a good idea to explain the purpose of the last hurrah to everyone who thinks you are a bachelorette party. Then drunk people may say things like..."Oh you're pregnant, congratulation!" (yeah dude, she's pregnant, buy her a shot) or "have a great baby!" (thanks lady, I will!)

4. Tourist traps are for amateurs. A seasoned group-thinker will suggest something like "we're going to the first bar on the right!" And, no one will argue. They will instead think that this is a fabulous idea. This will start to be a mantra. You may end up at the first bowling alley on the right. You probably won't know the name of it, because all you saw were the giant letters painted on a decrepit building that labeled it "Bowling Alley." You may then make friends with a bar tender and accidentally insult one of the guys in the two-man band who is telling a story that involves his dead wife. But you don't care, because you are with your fellow group thinkers who will later suggest flashing the taxi driver for a free ride home. Things may quickly spin out of control.

5. There will be clowns

Her nose was sparkly.

4. Someone will buy a hermit crab and then spend days trying to figure out how to sneak it home on a plane. She will name the crab "Myrtle" and will spend money on ridiculous hermit crab accessories. Myrtle (the crab not the beach) will become your "last hurrah" mascot.

Myrtle taking a nap with pirate in a hammock.



Myrtle's first Ultra.



This hurrah-goer will continue to send updates (Kerry...where's my latest update?)



Myrtle makes a new friend at home...the airplane sneaking was successful.



But the worst part of group think? When your kidneys and livers have recovered, suddenly you will be calling each other deciding that you should do it all again.

Cheers to Meghan's Last Hurrah!

What has group think led you to do? Share your stories!