The Monkey Backpack Toddler Leash: Not Just a Pretty Accessory

As I left JC Penny's this afternoon, I was walking behind a little girl who was tethered to her grandmother by a furry monkey backpack...whose tail was a leash. Fascinated, I inched closer to take a picture, but then remembered that my camera phone makes a very loud clicking noise. So in order to not be considered a creeper, I refrained. I also refrained from petting the monkey. Good for me.

We'll have to make due with a similar shot:

(Not actual toddler in mall. Toddler in mall had cooler haircut. Actually I kind of wanted her haircut.)

Now, I realize that toddler leashing is a controversial topic. I can see why, as some websites refer to these leashes as "toddler restraining harnesses." Other objectionable terms: "child tether," "child leash," or "walking reins" (which leads me to wonder if there are also running reins...like booster seats instead of infant car seats). So I wanted to provide a little more information. According to http://histclo.com/style/other/teath.html (which I maybe reading illegally as the site asked for a password and I just kept hitting cancel until it gave up), the toddler leash concept dates back to the 17th century. It has slipped in and out of popularity, but seems to be in fashion once again. My favorite section describes modern toddler leashes, some of which are "unescapable."

(Perhaps????)

I realize that as a non-mom, many will say that I have no right to comment on such a contraption. But to those people I say: let me try it out on your child so that I can speak from experience. (It's only fair really.)

But since I cannot currently borrow a child, as none of my friends with toddlers live in the state, I asked the woman across from me at Panera (who was sporting a six month old) what she thought of the toddler leash. Apparently she was leashed as a child, though she mentioned it was not popular then and that her leash was basically a wrist rope that looked very similar to a dog collar/leash. She claims that her parents purchased said leash and did not make it themselves. (Um...lady, sure they purchased it...at the local pet store.) This woman was pro-leash...but then she also started spouting off about the benefits of spanking and had a strange intensity in her eyes that led me to cut the conversation short.

Personally, I can't help but wonder what kind of tricks the leashed toddler could learn. Can they learn to fetch? To heel? Can I teach them to make me iced coffee and reward them with chew toys?

When training my dog, I found that the leash can be very effective...especially the zippy ones. You give 'em a little space, and then when they are comfortable with their freedom you snap 'em back to show them who's in charge. Tough love.

I'm just saying: my brother would have felt up a lot fewer women (he loved nylons) if he had been leashed.

My conclusion?

Personally, I like the toddler leash. It's funny and just a little demeaning...which is good for kids.